i think my mom watched the whole time
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My ATM looks so different sober.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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