He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
