I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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