something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So much rum. So many feels.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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