is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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