I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
