Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
