I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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