There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is my gift to your gina
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
