So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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