We named our party play list daddy issues
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
