Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Kiss

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Puke

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(951): View more from California

I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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(605): View more from South Dakota

And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.

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(209): View more from California

Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?

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