i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
