dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
