Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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