If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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