super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
