YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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