She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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