I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
