i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize