you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize