no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
