she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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