everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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