I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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