your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
