before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Green mimosas i think yes
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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