do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
two words...techno handjob
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
