beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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