I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
