You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
