This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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