when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
