I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
