Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
