You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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