I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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