maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
