so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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