I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize