I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
