Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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