This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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