Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
