How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
