We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
