i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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