I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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