yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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