Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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