I hate all girls vehemently.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
