she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
