Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize