Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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