Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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